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Fun fact: I have spent a LOT of time on YouTube over the past few days watching Aubrey Plaza interviews.
I wish I were kidding. There’s something about her cool yet confident and catlike presence, that I can’t decide if I want to be her, or be her best friend. If you would like a really awkward date to see Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates, you can reach me at…
Another fun fact: Aubrey Plaza recently came out as queer. Or, as some headlines read, ‘at the very least, bisexual’.
More specifically: Speaking with LGBT publication The Advocate, Plaza responded to a question about whether women came onto her, with an answer containing the phrase “I fall in love with girls and guys. I can’t help it.”
Of course, this doesn’t really classify as a definitive answer to the question of Plaza’s sexual orientation. She’s not labelling herself – and nor does she need to. There is no requirement for Plaza to boldly and openly state the dictionary definition of her sexuality.
She’s allowed to fall for girls and guys, and she’s allowed to just exist this way. No frills, and no strings attached.
And as I poured through online story comments looking for those all-too-common bites of negativity, I could find nothing. No hate speech, no rage. Maybe I’m finally following all the right publications.
And yet, one comment, repeated so many times in so many different forms, stuck out to me: “Who cares if she came out? Why is this news?”
It’s easy to interpret such a comment as the usual homophobic silencing tactic we’re all so very used to, when you’re told to shut up and stop talking and stop making me uncomfortable with all this NOISE about your LIVES and IDENTITIES, GAWD.
But a lot of these comments sounded more like: I can’t believe that it’s 2016, and a celebrity coming out still makes international news.
This phrase usually comes from the mouths of heterosexuals who, though they truly mean well, can’t really understand why a celebrity coming out is important.
Most of them are just depressed at the reality that, in this day and age, being gay is still considered a problem. They’re the good ones: the ones who ‘like’ our angry gay Facebook updates in solidarity, and retweet our insidious homosexual propaganda. They don’t come to the marches, but they’re glad you went.
Yet every now and again, one might say, “I just don’t know why you need your own nightclubs” – or, “So you’re gay. That means you love shopping, right?”
They’re only a bit ignorant; almost endearingly out of touch. All they really need is for a fabulous homosexual to take them to a gay bar, and have all the binge-drinking queers give them a little education.
So, it’s in the spirit of education that I’d like to make a statement. To any straight members of the audience who might be listening:
Yes, coming out IS a big deal.
It’s a big deal, when members of the LGBTQ community are still being beaten, bashed – and, quite recently, murdered by the dozens – for a celebrity like Aubrey Plaza to almost casually talk about her broad sexual identity.
It’s a big deal, when queers are underrepresented across all media platforms, and gay kisses on television see massive repulsed outcries from “family” groups and conservative pundits.
It’s a big deal, when young people still live with a nagging feeling of being shit fucking scared to come out of the closet; when youths, not unlike who I was before I came out, still pray in their beds at night to the Lord on High that they might wake up the following day a happy-go-lucky heterosexual.
It’s a big deal, when it normalises behaviour that, scientifically and historically, has always been “normal” – but has been culturally warped by a terrified conservative populace over a period of decades.
You know, as a positively rabid homosexual, I agree with the idea that “it shouldn’t be a big deal”. And it is sad that it’s still big news.
We could have come so far already, if people weren’t so terrified of difference, and so unable to break free from whatever deity cripples them with fear – whether that’s a religious deity, or the real-world demons of conservative traditionalism.
But while holding hands in the street is still a carefully-considered political statement, and not a thoughtless gesture of affection – when interlocking those delicate fingers with your same-sex partner still carries a very real risk of violence – I’d like to celebrate people who come out. Particularly celebrities in the public eye.
Because the more LGBTQ icons who say, “This is who I am. What about it?” – the more young people know it’s OK.
And the more role models we will have who will show those young people that, whether you fall in love with girls, or guys, or both – and you can’t help it – it’s all a little bit fine.
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