Sunday, January 22, 2017

'The real killer in our nightclubs: Dumb drug laws'

Wrote a piece for the print edition of The Sunday Age, which was published on The Age's website on January 21st, 2017. Available here.

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Last weekend, a batch of ecstasy pills began circulating the Chapel Street nightclub district. These pills were laced with a combination of the drugs MDMA and GHB, and saw three dead with more than 20 hospitalised. Emergency departments flooded as unknown chemicals sent revellers into collapse.
The story, while tragic, is not new. Every few months, a new and dangerous drug invades the nightclub scene with distressing effect. Media pundits and civilians alike go on to decry the disaster: what could we have done? Why did they take the drugs if they didn't know what was in them? Why take drugs at all?
These criticisms, too, are not new.
I have worked in Melbourne's nightlife as a photographer for over six years. When you're tucked in bed, I'm on my way to work, and when you're up and traipsing to Sunday brunch, I'm a bleary-eyed mess heading home. In hundreds of weekends documenting the nightclub circuit, I've seen my share of bad pills, panic attacks and overdoses. 
The prohibition of pills, like those consumed last weekend, ensures that drug users never know what they're truly taking. There are no regulations in the criminal economy. These drugs are brewed in kitchen sinks, filled with cheap toxins, and then sold at prices vastly higher than the cost of production. It's a lucrative business with devastating results.
As nightlife workers, we have a duty of care to the people in our venue. We also know that if someone is going to take criminalised drugs, you won't be able to stop them. And given their illegality, it's often too deep into the negative side effects when we're told of what they've taken, because patrons are too scared to speak up, whether due to fear for their reputations or of legal reprisal. Of the 20 or so reports from last weekend, there's no telling how many more stories went untold.
The creation of environments where patrons feel comfortable disclosing their use is key. A sensible approach floated by many is the idea of on-premises pill testing – or better, provision of self-testing kits. When revellers choose to take illicit drugs, these kits filter out bad batches by educating patrons on their contents, thus limiting the risk of hospitalisation – or worse. Many believe, however, that venues introducing testing kits might somehow encourage drug use.Partygoers fear punishment from the law, believing their confession will see them shoved onto the street or sent to the police station. This leaves frightened revellers seeing no avenue for aid, trapped in throbbing crowds, concerned for their safety and their lives.
Yet unsafe substances causing hazardous states creates a liability for venues. They want to avoid crisis for their customers and their friends. Drugs also reduce money spent at the bar on alcohol – a substance made less dangerous through legalisation and regulation – so the idea of kit testing endorsing the consumption of drugs runs contrary to their interests.
The decriminalisation, testing and regulation of these substances has proved effective in reducing complications in countries such as Portugal, where drugs have been decriminalised for 15 years. Yet it seems Australia isn't ready to take that step. If this country isn't ready to decriminalise, then the best course of action is to minimise risk.
I never want to hear of another patron at work going home after taking a bad pill, before falling comatose in their bed. Through testing kits, collaboration with the police and government, and through the assurance of shelter for our friends and peers, we can create secure and hospitable nightclub environments. So that the next time a batch of dodgy pills arrives on the scene, we'll be more than prepared.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

'A Day In The Life Of A Gay Man'

Some One Nation candidates got a bit mouthy about The Gays, and I felt like they got some elements of our lives a bit wrong. 

So I took it on myself to clear things up for them, in this snippy bit of satire for SBS Sexuality, published on the 20th of January 2017.

>> Available online here. <<

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

'I Am Not A Monster, I Am An Addict'

This was a piece of prose published to the community website of 56 Dean Street, Europe's busiest sexual health clinic, as part of their Wellbeing programme, on the 7th of January 2016.

Available here.

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// I am not a monster. I am an addict. \\

A couple of years ago, I twirled and danced through the community that you and I both know so well. I fell upon faces and names and so many lovers, twisting and writhing in the dark. And yet even though I met so many, and danced under moonlit nights holding hands and bodies, I could never quite find someone game enough to hold my heart.
So it should come as no surprise that in that darkness, that loneliness, I fell upon something that made me feel – for a moment, at least – whole. Something that made me feel better. Braver. Stronger. More open to love.
In a cloud, it engulfed me, and though I scrambled for a door through which to escape, I could never break that exit. And so I stayed, in sickness and doubt, trapped between four walls and heavy curtains too strong for me to lift.
Addict. That is what I’m called. It’s a name for the feeble, the seediest among us – the scum, the low, and the lesser. It turns heads away and tells people that I’m gone, distant, ill, forsaken, aggressive, possessed. They leer. 
But I am not possessed. I am not gone. I am not a monster. I am an addict. 
There’s a poltergeist hanging over my shoulder: a vampire suckling at the nape of my neck. It hides under the mattress between these four walls. It dampens the light from outside and holds the blinds shut. It whispers cruelties, knots my stomach in twisted agonies, and keeps me inhaling that acrid vapour. 
It tells me I’m not strong enough, not good enough, that no one could ever hold my heart.
Can you understand that? How I’ve ended up this way? Would you dare to try? To think of loneliness and sorrow, and the isolation of our community – one that, despite being so brave and ferocious to fend off the most terrifying ills, struggles to reach out and fold warm hands over hearts?
We’ve been ripped and torn asunder more times than we can count – so is it any wonder that we flee connection? That we sometimes chase away intimacy in a smoky haze and inebriation? That some of us, though we’ve fought for so long, might wind up lost within four walls, fed lies by a vampire, crawling in the dark?
I am not torn. I am not lost. I am not weak. I am an addict.
I’m tired of reaching out, only to be pushed back on the bed by this ghostly thing. This nasty creature intent on holding me still, telling me I’m worthless. I want to burst out from between these walls – to feel the light on my skin, so euphoric, to taste the air and hear flurries of birds chirp in their flight over sapphire skies. 
I want all of these things. I want to feel the sun again.
But I need your help. 
I need you to break down this door. I need you to rip the shutters open until the light beams down on my wrinkled face. Then whip around and hiss at my spectre, that if it’s going to linger, it better be ready for a fight. Pull me up from my nest of bones – if I slip, hold me steady, if you can. Haul me over to the window, and remind me what the sun feels like. 
Then I can begin to heal. I can come out from behind these clouds. I can learn to dance again, and look up at those sapphire skies. 
Because I am not a monster. I am not lost. I am an addict.
We have fought greater ills than wicked ghosts. We are stronger from our pasts. You can hold my heart in your hands.