"I like photography, craft beer, ogling boys – and sadly, crystal meth"

This piece was originally published on BodyAndSoul.com.au, on September 14th 2017. Available here.

--------

 

Picture: Supplied. Brandon Cook.

You know that feeling when you’re watching television, and there’s a news segment broadcasting something so insufferably inaccurate that all you can do is stare?

Here’s your old-school uncle bemoaning those bloody millennials or the gal down the road talking marriage equality – and how she’s terrified of homosexuals forcing her to divorce. This is Middle Australia. They wear cargoes and muddied singlets, and live off diets of Lean Cuisine, the fear of Islam, and aggressive suburban tension. They’re also you.

Quite frankly: Who are these people, and who insisted they pretend to represent you?

I get that a lot. Only I don’t cry when I see a Bintang, nor when I spot Kath & Kim come to life. I get it when I hear people talk about addicts. Sorry, I mean “junkies”.

I’m Brandon Cook: twenty-four. I like photography, craft beer, ogling boys on transit – and sadly, crystal meth. And yes, I do want to stop.

I’m one of your “junkies”. Nobody abused me and I didn’t fall into it after hard times. I got hooked when a hot guy asked me to try it, and I didn’t say no because he was just that hot. Go ahead and call me stupid; I’m getting it tattooed on my lower back anyway.

Public figures have a habit of perpetuating seriously bad ideas about addicts. Even people in recovery and rehab tend to be shown as barely-reformed hoodlums.

So call it a lesson from someone in recovery, or tragic advice from Dolly Doctor for deviants – because I’m here to correct some myths around addiction. If stigma kills, then these notions twist the knife.

Not all addicts recover the same way

Many see the only way to live as in complete abstinence. But in most cases, it’s unrealistic. Some people can manage it – but many will use again. Abstinence can tint the world in nightmarish potential for slipping up.

I tried abstinence for two years. And I slipped up a lot. It made me hate myself because it reminded me of what I was: a “junkie”. Then I went to rehab, where I forgave my mistakes, and accepted any future failures.

Some addicts take years to quit, and slip-ups are part of the journey. But some addicts see society shaking their heads, and in their shame, go on to overdose and die.

Picture: Supplied. Brandon Cook.Source:BodyAndSoul

Addiction isn’t selfish

Claiming otherwise ignores that there are biological factors at play that assist in strengthening it, no matter someone’s resistance.

You can argue that nobody put the pipe in my hand; that I did it to myself. And I’d have the strength of character to say you were right.

And yet you’d be pretending that you yourself have never felt the effects of peer pressure, or haven’t been curious about pleasure in all its insidious forms.

The difference between my curiosity and yours is that someone put the object in my hand, and I caved. That’s it. Everything that happened afterwards is neurochemistry. Not a selfish act that I, or anyone, deserves.

We’re not all violent felons

If I had a dollar every time someone didn’t believe I’m “one of those”, since I’m clearly cute as a button and wouldn’t hurt a fly, I could afford the cost of private rehab.

Australia depicts addicts as violent and impoverished. These people exist and are worthy of support. But they’re also not my truth. They’re just one of many.

If I told you that I knew addicts who ran prominent NGOs; who were politicians and figures in media; whose day job was to maintain human life, would your perception of addiction change? I hope so. Which brings me to my last point...

Anyone can be an addict

This is the part where you hold your children closer, and it’s also where I’ll finish up.

The week after I first tried ice, I went to my doctor to ask for help, because already I foresaw problems. Yet even that anxious foresight couldn’t prevent my future.

Addiction doesn’t know class. It isn’t concerned with race or prestige. It just grips onto something in your life – hardship, mental health, or my self-image – and grows and grows. Then, before you have time to react, it’s a problem all its own. It can break your doctor or your neighbour, and even your son.

Untangling addiction means seeing it as the disease it is, not as a symbol of socioeconomic status. Helping addicts means seeing complex humans and not shock-news. It might be offering them realistic aid, no matter how debated.

When we can nail that, maybe I’ll be able to watch the news without cringing. Because I’ll finally feel represented – as a person suffering an illness that unites just as it harms. Not a “junkie”. That’ll be a good day.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, mental ill health or needs help, call Lifelineon 131 114, Beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. In an emergency, call 000. For a correct treatment plan, book an appointment with your GP.

For more information on mental health and treatment options, visit Beyond Blue, Black Dog Institute, Lifeline, RUOK or Headspace.